So in the past couple of weeks I’ve entered the dating scene again. Not being very good at finding women I’ve had a couple of married friends of mine set me up on two blind dates.
The first woman I went out with was a lovely woman both in looks and in personality. We went to dinner and we laughed and were having what I thought was a great time. As the evening progressed she started to talk about her job and her time at college. I listened in for a good half hour of her talking and enjoyed my time. Then she said that she was sorry for talking so much about herself and asked me where I went to college. When I replied that I did not go to college I could see her face change from a happy face to what at best could be considered an indifferent face but really a disapproving face. As I was talking I could see her looking at her watch and tapping her fork and such. I didn’t even get a chance to tell her what I do for a living before she took out her phone looked at it and said that she just got a text from her sister who needed her help. Oddly enough the phone never made a sound, now sure it could have been on vibrate but I know getting blown off when I see it. We parted and neither of us bothered to ask about doing it again.
Second woman was just as nice in both looks and personality however she was a little more blunt and up front than the other. Same thing as the other date, I listened to the life story and again the college thing came up. She at least was just right up front and blunt about it, when I told her I did not go to college she just told me that she could never see herself with someone who didn’t go to college. I thanked her for being honest and paid for our meal and left. Oddly enough she actually seemed interested in going out again but I figure what is the point.
Anyway here is the deal. I am a plumber by trade and yes I am more than familiar with all of the butt crack jokes, and I have been since I left High School. Now I’m not just some home trained fix it guy, I actually started out as a union plumber and apprenticed for 6 years.
I know that people who go to college make more in general than those of us who don’t and I respect people who go to college and understand that its more than just about a job.
But if they are worried about me being able to provide for them I think they aren’t giving me a chance. I own my own home and car, I make decent money normally and when I work a weekend emergency call I make really good money. I am not dirty and no I don’t wear my pants around the lower part of my ass.
Is not having a college degree a deal breaker for any of you?
5 thoughts on “Me [29 M], how important is higher education to you in seeking a partner”
It all depends on your major. A degree in something really marketable, that you love doing and can’t learn on the job, makes a lot of sense. But a lot of ppl get pricey degrees in a field that will hire you without a degree, like getting a starting job as a bank teller with a degree in business. Now you have the same low-level job you would have with a high-school diploma but you also now have a student loan to pay off. Better to get a shitty job as a pharmacy tech at a company like Rite Aid that is desperate for pharmacists, who will pay your way through pharmacy school if you will work for them afterwards. The degree is needed but you don’t handicap yourself by paying for it when you don’t need to. And you start at almost 100K a year. But if you’re going to own a bookstore or a construction business, learn it on the job. Don’t waste time and money on a degree.
It’s not a deal breaker for me. I have master’s degree and my boyfriend only went to two semesters of college. That’s not important. What is important is that he’s the smartest, sweetest guy I’ve ever dated. The whole imperative that everyone go to college is about as irrelevant as the imperative that everyone get married to someone of the opposite sex and have 2.3 kids and a picket fence. As long as you’re an interesting, smart, loving guy, most women worth your time won’t care about your education credentials. Also, you probably make a bunch more money than most college grads.
I was 3 years into a biology degree before I bailed because I was taking loans out and each year I assessed where I would be at the end and thought “man, I’m a) not going to be able to find a job easily with this and b) pay off these insane loans”.
So I bailed. I didn’t re-register for the fall semester and I went to a trade school instead and got a diploma through an IT program. I got a job 3 months after graduating and am now in a very comfortable position.
Do I still absolutely love biology? 100%, but realistically I like living comfortably more. Trade school was a hell of a lot cheaper, faster, and the jobs are higher in demand. It was an easy decision. I would never think of myself as “tech person” but IT jobs are in high demand and I catch on to it quickly, and I more or less enjoy my day to day work.
I like my job, and while it isn’t my PASSION, it’s what enables me to have the financial freedom to do what I want with my free time. If I stuck with the degree I was doing I’d be in the same boat that 99% of the people I was in that degree program with are in now, NOT working in a field they have a degree in and struggling to find work.
I do think some people will see it as a negative because college-goers get the whole higher-education-is-better thing drilled into their heads before, during, and after school. But these days, it seems like a lot of college degrees just guarantee you debt.
I think if you presented it differently, you’d get better results. When asked, instead of ‘I didn’t go to college’, tell them about how you were fascinated by plumbing or whatever and went straight into apprenticing, then talk about what you do now. Honestly I don’t think a lot of people care so much about college – they just want to know that you’re a grown-ass adult who can take care of himself, and are using that as a shorthand.
Yeah, I have a 4-year degree and have a white-collar job, and I do not care if someone I’m seeing went to college. However, I do care what they did INSTEAD of going to college. If they actually learned a trade and are able to support themselves well, then great. If they just goofed off got high and stayed in mom and dad’s basement, not so great. I don’t care as long as they’re self-supporting and not living paycheck to paycheck.
Since some women DO care though, you may want to ask your friends who set you up on blind dates to filter them out for you before you waste more time. Ask them not to send you any women who care about whether you’re degreed or not, but make sure to have them mention to any potential blind dates that you do have a skilled trade, you’re not working at McDonalds. (Whereas many college graduates ARE!)